[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
I remember in some job interviews
I had during grad school,
they would sometimes ask me where
do I see myself in five years.
I never knew how to
answer that question.
And now, that I'm lost
inside a drainage pipe
in a chemical processing
plant, this is why.
Oh, this looks promising.
I was expecting spinning saw blades.
But, why are there no doors here?
Did I actually enter this
room in the correct manner?
Maybe the room itself is alive.
I was a little drowsy, now I'm awake.
I do not have to accept this.
Got to avoid the blood shower...
This isn't the sort of thing
I should have to worry about.
Jesus! Where's this coming from?
Maybe we don't even ship in meat.
We just slaughter the cows
right here at the facility.
And then just dump them in the water
like we know what we're doing.
Oh my god! This better
not get in my hair.
If I wanted to smell like McDonald's,
I would've stayed in the trash compactor.
I shouldn't be surprised
the doors are locked.
No one likes to hang out
in the meat dumping room.
So, how am I getting out of here?
I'm not swimming through the fan blades.
That's an easy option to scratch off.
And I somehow don't see myself
shimmying up a sheet metal wall.
I am definitely late for work.
Guess I'll go with the flow!
Fuck, I just know some of these
meat chunks are getting in my hair.
I'm going to need some
serious shampoo after this.
I'm not a leper. I shouldn't have to
stand for meat dandruff.
The exit must be on the other side.
I wonder how fast I'd have to run
to skip on top of the water.
That would explain the smell.
What the hell are we spraying?
Orange is a bad color
for industrial chemicals.
We could get away with this
if we were making Cheetos.
But I'm 80% sure
Cheetos aren't made like this.
Hm, looks like I need to keep on swimming.
Yeah, swimming upstream is for losers.
This is a pretty shitty water park.
I'm not coming here again.
Oh, god, there's that gas.
I don't want to breathe this!
Jesus! Gas and a rotating crusher!
Maybe I shouldn't be going this way.
Well, hey! This room looks like something!
It has steps and everything.
That means I'm done with
the meat processing ride!
I think my values have dropped
considerably since I woke up.
Instead of getting to work on
time, now I just want not die.
And... oh, my god.
This is that same room.
I've gone in a giant circle again.
Well, I suppose this good preparation
for later in life if I get Alzheimer's.
I'll wake up not remembering everything
but still be able to escape
the retirement home.
I'm not going to get Alzheimer's.
People who stay mentally active
have resistance against that.
And I mentally dominate everyone!
When I get old, I'm going to
buy that walking cane I saw
that secretly transforms into a sword
and scare the hell out anyone
who doesn't show me respect.
Glad to see air is part of
today's itinerary.
Hm, I wonder if I'll need a
separate shampoo for my beard
Okay, what the fuck did I just shoot?
I'm totally justified, whatever it is.
Looks like a cross between
a leopard and... Cthulhu.
Yep. That's definitely not a cockroach.
Wait, I've seen these things before.
Oh, shit! I remember now!
Of course. I remember everything.
I was in the test chamber.
I was going to load the new sample in.
Then, somebody cut the lights.
And then some of the scientists
put on these creepy-looking robes
and started lighting torches.
Then one of them got on the intercom
and starting chanting this crazy ritual.
Next thing I know, we have beings from
another dimension teleporting in here
like we're giving away free t-shirts.
Oh no! Not this room again!
Why do we make rooms
that can't be accessed
connect to other rooms
that can't be accessed?
I bet this guy died trying to get out.
These are how you create your own exits!
Glad they were just lying on this desk.
Wow, these things have a
remote control and everything.
Maybe I should hold onto these.
I bet I could sell them for a good price.
I'm sure Eddie would take these
off my hands for me.
This could turn out to be
a good day after all.
I think the revolver must be a Magnum.
That thing felt like I was God!
Thou shalt not eat my face!
Behold me push these switches!
Hey, these aren't doing anything.
There. Now they're all
in the "Off" position.
Why make a switch box that's
clearly labeled, easily accessible,
if it doesn't actually work?
Now, an optimist would say,
"Hey, that's two out of three."
I say, "That's bullshit!"
Ugh! I wasn't asking
for a second opinion!
I have a gun so I'm in charge!
Many governments around the world
function on this principle!
And some of them last for months!
You're making it that way!
Well, I guess the good news is:
I'm not late for work like I thought.
No work today. We have too many problems.
That was a pretty big problem
for a lot of the faculty if I recall.
I mean, it wasn't for me, but, c'mon.
Although maybe I shouldn't be so cocky
about my situation since
I don't know how to get out of here and
I don't feel like swimming again.
Although saying that implies
I felt like doing it to begin with.
Ah! Don't mash my potatoes.
Stop...no...not qui...
yeah, there we go.
I get it. Turn off the hammers
then the switches.
It's like sawing
through a body at the joint
so you don't have to
cut through the bone.
Wait, it's nothing like that.
Okay, I think if I just break everything
life will get simpler.
And that appears to have done nothing.
Okay, this is why I
study THEORETICAL physics.
I don't normally have
to do all the dirty work.
It is so much easier yelling at a
lab assistant to do things for you.
I guess today's more
interesting than usual.
I mean I'm bodysurfing on a conveyor
belt at some creepy factory.
Most people don't do that.
I hope this leads to one of
those big plastic ball pits
they have at themed pizza restaurants.
That would almost make up for
all the switches.
Ah, no. We're getting off here.
I mean, there's a ladder here.
Surely, someone was
meant to come this way.
You know what?
I'm going to go back to sleep.
It's not like I have to work today.